26 February 2010

Save Me


Suddenly I had a moment of wanting to be saved. Keeping my self in my own dark space I created myself, I dont know where to go anymore.

Seminggu yang lalu secara tiba-tiba saya menyedari suasana Mesir yang bertukar menjadi meriah dengan hiasan, dan jualan anak patung. Ianya suatu situasi yang biasa setiap tahun tapi saat itu saya menyedari, hari ini semakin hampir.

Walaupun mempunyai bertimbun-timbun kalendar, tapi semuanya merekodkan masa yang berlainan. Internet menyatakan seminggu lagi, jam tangan menunjukkan 5 hari lagi, dan Kalendar meja mencatatkan seminggu lagi maka just go on with the normal flow. Kadang-kadang pelik juga kan? Ramadhan dan Syawal ditentukan melalui anak bulan, tapi bulan lain mengikut kiraan. Lebih menghairankan adalah Ramadhan dan Syawal jatuh pada tarikh lain dalam kalendar, tapi bulan-bulan seterusnya kita mengikut kalendar tersebut. Bukankah sepatutnya dianjak ke depan atau belakang? XD

Namun begitu, ianya seminggu yang sia-sia. Semakin hari semakin lemah, semakin lama semakin sindrom down. Seolah-olah subconscious menyatakan ini, tapi consciously menyatakan itu. Suara hati kuat menyatakan bangkit melawan, tapi fizikal tidak bermaya untuk melakukan sesuatu. Seolah-olah diri anda terperangkap dalam tubuh yang anda sendiri tidak boleh kawal, cuma melihat sahaja dari dalam. Ianya suatu situasi yang memelikkan.

I'm lost. I'm really lost. Please somebody, save me.

Saya ingin melihat cahaya kembali. Sebagaimana suatu ketika dahulu pada hari ini, dunia melihat kembali cahaya kebenaran. Sebagaimana suatu ketika dahulu pada hari ini, cahaya kejahilan terpadam.

I know it's an impossible request. A rhetorical pathetic one. I know no one can save me except myself.

Because it's my war. My war against myself. But one thing for sure; I'm losing because everyone around me is just watching. And I'm alone inside a crowd.

People needs a friend. But what use is a friend if they doesnt serve their purpose? =)

EDIT:
btw, untuk ahli PERUBATAN, boleh isi borang survey ni? hehe

5 penghinaan diterima:

AsrarR on February 26, 2010 at 1:48 PM said...

'Because it's my war. My war against myself. But one thing for sure; I'm losing because everyone around me is just watching. I'm alone inside a crowd.'

so meaningful~ sometimes people just watching, waiting a right time to hand a help mayb~ or mayb they do not know what to do~

anyhow- help urself first then u'll be survive,

just a piece from mine.

anisahshamilah said...

erm, berdasarkan pengalaman cetek secetek banjir mesir.

kadang-kadang , kita memang perlukan orang lain untuk selamatkan kita. lagi-lagi bila terperangkap dalam dunia sendiri.macam orang lemas dalam lautan ciptaan sendiri.orang lain yang tahu lautan tu tak wujud sebenarnya.

ketukan pada hati jarang-jarang Allah beri. jangan biar dia lari, mungkin dia takkan kembali.

Anonymous said...

inshaAllah you find your way.

kadang2 bende camni kite kene cari.bukan gedebuk datang.

perasaan down n x de semangat semua org penah rase.mungkin perlu carik org untk ambil kate2 semangat.

aisha soleha on March 1, 2010 at 6:31 PM said...

Sometimes, when the world's not on your side
You don't know where to run to
You don't know where to hide.

You gaze, at the stars in the sky
At the mountains so high
Through the tears in your eyes.

Looking for a reason,
to replace what is gone.

Just remember, remember
That you are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.

So now as you long for your past
Prepare for your future
But knowing nothings going to last
You see this life is but a road
A straight and narrow path
To our final abode

So travel well O Muslim
And Paradise will be your home
And always remember
That you are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.

You are never alone (Allah is there)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.

anor said...

..been there.. done that..

i'd felt those dreadful hopeless miserable feeling long time ago.. i prayed that none of my friends would have to undergo that situation..

it truly sadden me that you are fighting your battle now, for it is very true that it's your very own battle and no one can stop it except yourself..

words of wisdom might fail to help.. it's your own desire to fight till the end that will prevail.. and it's the belief that Allah is waiting for you at every corner of the dark tunnels that will make you win this battle.. i pray that you will come out from all this, stronger than ever.. amin.

 

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